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Geller, Cauley Ceremony Set
for St Joseph's, 17th February 2.30pm
Mr. and Mrs. Alan Geller are
pleased to announce the impending marriage of their daughter, Carole
Geller, to Peter Conn Cauley.
Carole Geller is well-known to Wellington residents as the widow of Beano
“Flying” Geller, otherwise known as the Human Cannonball. Mr. Geller was
tragically killed five years ago when an inebriated assistant not only
plotted an incorrect trajectory but chose to include a supply of black
powder in the cannon, rather than relying on the air compressor as was
standard. Mr. Geller’s clothing caught fire, and he became the Flaming
Human Cannonball until he missed the net. He crashed onto a snowplough
that had been mistakenly delivered to the City of Wellington and was en
route to its correct destination in Alaska. The driver of the flatbed
truck on which the snowplough was loaded was so startled that he drove
into the harbour. While the coroner was unable to ascertain whether Mr.
Geller’s death was the result of the fire, the impact of colliding with
the snowplough, or drowning, he did feel confident in ruling out suicide.
Carole Geller, a detention officer for the City of Wellington, met her
future bridegroom on the job and states that he swept her off her feet.
Mr. Cauley describes her as “captivating” in their first meeting, and
asserts that their courtship was somewhat restrained. They were in contact
five days each week for over two years, and love blossomed. A marriage
proposal was offered and accepted, and the bride began plans for the
upcoming ceremony, which will take place at St Joseph's Church with
Reverend Mee officiating.
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The bride will be attended by her former co-worker, Officer Audrey
Phillips, while the groom will be attended by I. C. Allright of the
Wellington Department of Probation and Parole. Only family members are
expected as guests at the small, simple ceremony: the bride’s parents and
the groom’s Godfather, Mr Assa Sin.
Mr. and Mrs. Cauley will honeymoon in Florida, USA, where Mr. Cauley must
respond to certain inquiries into his business matters. Once the president
of Ponzi Productions, Mr. Cauley changed careers after the company was
forced to close. He became a specialist in dynamic capital acquisition,
which is the basis of the Florida inquiry. The couple expects the matter
will likely keep them in Florida for three to five years, after which they
plan to return to Wellington.
After returning home, the couple plan to open an oyster bar in The Windy
City. To ensure the availability of fresh seafood, they are examining the
possibility of launching their own air freight line, tentatively named
Conn Air. The couple are also looking into various other business
opportunities, and neither has ruled out the possibility of seeking some
sort of political office.
But seriously though folks: Carole and I would love
to see you all at St Joseph's on the 17th!
Also on a serious
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short
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overpriced yearly stuff!
Best wishes to
all from Peter.
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